When Minds Get Stuck

Happiness is a state of mind. Of course, many people overlook this simple truism, and instead allow their sense of happiness to get wrapped up in external things, like jobs or image or possessions or wealth. But the simple fact is that we don’t need those things to attain a deep sense of happiness. In fact, when people make their happiness conditioned on external things and objects, they are setting themselves up for unhappiness when, inevitably, those things are lost or disappear.

When one examines the root causes of unhappiness, we invariably find that a person’s mind is “stuck” on a particular idea. For example, let’s suppose that a salesman has set a career goal for themselves of owning their own dealership by a certain age. He (or she) works hard and makes great strides towards that goal; but for whatever reason, the cherished goal of owning a dealership eludes him. Then one day he wakes up at the forecasted age of success, and thinks to himself: “I have not reached my goals. I have failed.” And so the thought of failure informs his feelings; he is now unhappy and feels like a failure. Why? Because his mind is stuck on an idea.

Another example of unhappiness produced by the “stuck mind” syndrome, is what psychologists call “cognitive dissonance.” Cognitive dissonance is what happens when a person experiences a discrepancy between new information, knowledge, or an interpretation, and what they already know or believe (or what they think they know). The more deeply a person’s mind is stuck on an idea or belief, the greater the cognitive dissonance and (hence) feelings of unhappiness. Of course, many people sub-consciously recognize that the implication of change conveyed by the advent of new knowledge will make them unhappy, and so they actively resist the new idea, or (at its worst) deny all new learning altogether. But trying to avoid knowledge or information like this is just a form of denial that erodes self-respect and breeds ignorance.

The way to reduce the amount of unhappiness in your life is simple to grasp but hard to do: Don’t let your mind get attached to preconceived ideas and beliefs. Because when the mind gets stuck on an idea or belief, unhappiness is sure to follow.